I've found a great way to calm yourself down is to light a candle... concentrate on the flame... and just slowly breathe deeply in and out. It is really rather hypnotic. And it certainly helps you slow down both your mind and body.
Yet it's hard to type by candlelight, so I'm posting this blog entry with the lights on.
Truth be told, I am in need of the deep breathing, candlelight, relaxation thing. The pressure is mounting. And it's a good time to talk about the virtues of saying 'no'.
I officially stopped work a week ago. Yet since then certain jobs have refused to lie down and die. Give you an example - I finished a project last week. Hurrah. Only to find that at the 11th hour two sponsors pulled out. No dosh. Credit crunch. (Silent scream).
So what should I do? Spend time finding new sponsors? Or pass it back to my client with a 'sorry, but my contractions have started - see ya'.
A few years ago I'd have gone for option one and moved hell and high water to find replacements. But nowadays I am older and wiser. I have a baby arriving in a few weeks. I need to get ready. Buy nappies. Write a birth plan. Practice posing for photos in ways to disguise my pregnancy weight gain.
So I went for option two and handed it back to the client. I explained that I had done the work. But that someone else had pulled out. And that I couldn't spend any more time on it.
Of course, she was great and just took on the project herself. I'm sure she didn't need the extra pressure. But she had to get on with it. There's no negotiating with a 'bump', after all!
Saying no reminded me of when Daisy was born. We didn't want visitors in the early days cos we were all over the place with Daisy's colic. In addition breastfeeding wasn't coming easy and I certainly wasn't ready to do it in front of well-meaning friends and family just cos they arrived at feeding time!
But you wouldn't believe how much people want to see your new baby. Of course they don't mean to be pushy - they want to share in your joy. But the first few weeks can be difficult. So despite emails explaining that we couldn't cope with visitors for now, they just kept coming - knocking on the door unannounced as they were 'just passing'.
Our wonderful NCT teacher, Maxine Goswell, had warned us about this. So thankfully I'd given some thought on how to say no without causing offence. I stuck to my guns, asked people to wait, explained again and again that we weren't able to do the visiting thing for now, but that we'd let them know the minute we were. I think women are 'trained' to be accommodating, so saying no in such circumstances can feel be uncomfortable. But if you want to hang on to your sanity, it's something that every new parent has to learn.
I have my last appointment with the consultant tomorrow. I am keen on having a natural birth (with, of course, lots of deep relaxing breathing). So we need to finalise a few details. Like whether you can take candles into the delivery suite. And whether they let you blog in between contractions (must charge the laptop battery)...
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